You can only imagine how disappointed I was to find these berries in the garden this morning:
The strawberries of despair, the silvanberries of neverending ennui, the blueberries of dolour, and the tayberries of pestilence and ill-will. The raspberries were so appalling I had to dispose of them immediately, before I could find my camera.
Some of these berries, like this blueberry "Brigitta" cultivar, are not only highly undelicious, but also a purulent blight upon the festering excresence of the front yard:
And then there is strawberry "Tarpan", never more foulsome than when in flower:
This Cape gooseberry, no relation of the gooseberry gooseberry, appals all who cast an innocent eye upon its monstrous progeny:
As for this fruit of horror, I dare not even speak its name: