Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The terrible burden of home-grown berries

You can only imagine how disappointed I was to find these berries in the garden this morning:

The strawberries of despair, the silvanberries of neverending ennui, the blueberries of dolour, and the tayberries of pestilence and ill-will. The raspberries were so appalling I had to dispose of them immediately, before I could find my camera.

Some of these berries, like this blueberry "Brigitta" cultivar, are not only highly undelicious, but also a purulent blight upon the festering excresence of the front yard:

And then there is strawberry "Tarpan", never more foulsome than when in flower:

This Cape gooseberry, no relation of the gooseberry gooseberry, appals all who cast an innocent eye upon its monstrous progeny:

As for this fruit of horror, I dare not even speak its name:


  1. How did you see through my cunning irony, EC?

  2. Disgusting. I'm shocked and saddened that you could stomach to post on such heinous produce.
    Btw I'm with you on the raspberry vanishment. In truth no raspberry really ever exists, as there is no proof.

  3. Gosh. I hadn't fully thought through the implications of raspberry disappearance, but I think you're right, it's best to assume that they never existed in the first place. Otherwise, people might get jealous.

    Ta for dropping by!